


some nights

by the9999th



Series: non - timeline one shots [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Civil War (Marvel), M/M, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-05 23:44:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5394689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the9999th/pseuds/the9999th
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just your average songfic.<br/>(Song: Some nights by Fun.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	some nights

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the steve to my tony](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=the+steve+to+my+tony).



> Yes so don't hit me. I tried.  
> Also this is way better with the song playing.  
> Also I don't own the tiniest bit of Marvel or their characters.

Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck  
Some nights I call it a draw  
Some nights I wish that my lips could build a castle  
Some nights I wish they'd just fall off

Nights were hard for Tony. Mostly he stayed up, thinking or tinkering or both combined. Those were his good nights. The ones that made him feel like he was benefitting his world, his team, his friends-turned-family, even if only through money or devices. He'd give anything for the feeling of wholeness these nights gave him. Some nights he didn't get to sleep because he had nightmares. But the worst kind of nights were the ones he spend wide awake, physically exhausted but mind so restless sleep seemed impossible. Those rare (not so rare) nights he reminisced and relived each act of his and it's effects, both positive and negative (mostly negative). Those nights, he felt like he was a source of never ending bad things. Even the things he meant well eventually took a turn for the worst. Anything could trigger one of those nights. He had had them after college, after breakups, after new sale-records, after the first angry time he and Steve had. He despised them, but also felt like each of them took away a tiny piece of the guilt he was carrying. 

But I still wake up, I still see your ghost  
Oh, Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for oh  
Whoa oh oh (What do I stand for?)  
Whoa oh oh (What do I stand for?)  
Most nights I don't know anymore...  
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, oh,  
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, oh

Pep called it a danger night. Tony called it preparing for battle. They were both right. He slowly sat up. Civil war had begun, and yet, Steve had left mere minutes ago. His warmth was still lingering in the sheets. Neither of them knew what they were going to do (they had no idea what they were doing now). They got angry and then slept with each other and then one of them left and they never talked about it. But this time had been so different. It had been whispers and soft glances and the kind of slow only real things can be. And it had been one question relentlessly turning around in Tonys head. How could this be right, this fight, how could it possibly make sense to anyone? How could he stand up for something he didn't really know much about?

This is it, boys, this is war - what are we waiting for?  
Why don't we break the rules already?  
I was never one to believe the hype  
Save that for the black and white  
I try twice as hard and I'm half as liked,   
But here they come again to jack my style 

The battle was drawn out and everyone was aching and tired and fed up (missing each other). Fair play wasn't an option anymore as they bashed each others heads in. Friends turned to enemies, love to hatred (it was too hard to fight someone you love more than yourself). And Tony fought harder than ever before, because yes, those were super soldiers, but he was pure technical advance and he wanted (needed) this to be over. Of course, no one (Tony) would want to hurt Captain America, but well...what had to be done had to be done. In the end, they parted ways very inelegant, with his suit being sliced open, but somehow still able to carry him out of danger.

That's alright (that's alright)  
I found a martyr in my bed tonight  
She stops my bones from wondering just who I am, who I am, who I am  
Oh, who am I? Mmm... Mmm... 

When they got home (too cold to be home) to the tower, they split up without a word, everyone heading towards their own floor. As soon as Tony got rid of the shreds that had been his suit and underarmor, he headed to bed, too tired to do anything exept manually locking his doors. When he entered the bedroom, he immediately felt the presence of someone else. Friday didn't turn up the lights, so it had to be someone he knew. It was pitch black, but as soon as he touched the person sitting on the edge of the bed, slumped over with their head in their hands, he recognised them. "Tony." "Steve." Silence. "What on earth - " He was effectively shut up.   
Afterwards they lay together (cuddled). "I don't want to do this, Tony. I don't. I can't stand the thought of hurting you. Today...the way you - I just. This will be over and we will have something, won't we? We'll come out on top, we always do." "Steve..."

Well, some nights I wish that this all would end  
'Cause I could use some friends for a change.  
And some nights I'm scared you'll forget me again  
Some nights I always win, I always win...

Over time those post-battle fucks became the norm. Over time Tony seemed to have the clear upper hand. But he felt worse than ever. Alone and cold. They never talked, just did their thing and exchanged soft touches and low sounds, but no words. Never words. Sometimes he wanted Steve to stay a little longer, just until he fell asleep, but somewhere along the way he lost the right to ask for it. Still, tonight he reached out, grabbed Steves wrist. "Stay" "Tony, no." And the were back to routine again. 

The other night you wouldn't believe the dream I just had about you and me  
I called you up but we'd both agree  
It's for the best you didn't listen  
It's for the best we get our distance... Oh...  
It's for the best you didn't listen  
It's for the best we get our distance... Oh..

But when the fighting finally slowed down, it wasn't a relief. "Steve, just hear me out. We can figure this out. Please. Please, Steve!" "Stark, just don't." "You know what? Fine! I tried. This means war 'till the end." "I guess" Repulsor blasts met Vibranium. The time of amends was over.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry?


End file.
